Be Specific, Real Specific

We have a choice when we talk to other people. We can either be fluid and candid, or we can be rigid and follow what is typically accepted within a conversation socially. Let me explain. When you cross paths with anyone in person, on the phone, or online every day, it can be super tempting to use a set of preprogrammed ‘interactions.’ These are like little social mini games that we all know the rules of and often play. For example: when you’re paying for something at the store. It can be easy to give a halfhearted ‘Hi, how are you?,’ and begin the social game where both sides go through the motions, but nothing of substance is truly said. Do you secretly hope that the other person will give you the expected ‘good thanks’ and then be silent so you can go back to checking your phone? Here’s what I encourage you to do instead. Right now think of one thing you’re excited about or thankful for. That thing is now your key to a real interaction. When you go through the line at Starbucks, or pay for your gas, or pass another person at work and they say “Hey, how are you?,” you aren’t allowed to say “good thanks.” Instead, you’re going to be wonderfully specific. Try something like: “I’m great! My favorite band came out with a song today!” “I’m awesome, I found my new favorite coffee drink.” Be real, be specific, and risk a connection today.